Instead of watching dancing cheerleaders on a plasma screen, we watched dancing flames in a fireplace. Instead of yelling at referees about miscalled fouls, we conversed amiably about all sorts of other things. And instead of eating buffalo wings and nachos…well, okay, we did eat nachos.
I’m not going to start bashing football, but I wonder if I really missed much. I mean, I already heard Beyoncé sing at the presidential inauguration (it was her voice, whether she lip-synched or not), so I could skip the halftime show. And I don’t watch enough television to be a connoisseur of finer commercial breaks, so the special advertisements would have been lost on me. And I didn’t watch any pre-bowl football this year at all, so I couldn’t even legitimately pick a team to root for.
I am intrigued, however, by what I found online about “Super Bowl Monday,” and the push to make the day following Super Bowl Sunday a national holiday. Apparently the premise is that many of the millions of Super Bowl celebrants will not feel up to going to work on Monday, so in honor of this nationwide hangover, we should all be able to take the day off. There is even a petition floating around to encourage the president to declare such a holiday. An article at Buford.patch.com states that as of today, there are about 13,000 signatures out of the 86,665 required to have the petition considered.
I guess I wouldn’t mind having another paid (it would be paid, right?) holiday. I wonder what Hallmark would do for cards. Maybe you would open the card and out would pop a couple of Alka Seltzer tablets. You certainly wouldn’t want noisemakers or party poppers. It would have to be a rather subdued holiday, I would think.
In the event that the petition goes through, maybe I should prepare to cash in on this, come up with some Super Bowl carols to copyright. Let’s see… what rhymes with quarterback?
Saddle pack, cul-de-sac, cataract, knick knack… this may take a while.