“20 Amazing uses for Epsom salts”
"The foods the experts don’t want you to eat”
“Wrinkle Solution Horrifies Surgeons: Scientists have discovered a shocking natural skincare solution. Try this one weird trick & look years younger.”
“1 evil trick to lose fat”
Really?????
I’m sorry, but I’ve never been amazed by Epsom salts. I don’t care what the “experts” do or don’t want me to eat (I’ll research that myself and make my own informed decisions). If surgeons are “horrified” by a “weird trick” to look younger, I don’t think I want to try it. And why would a “trick” (there’s that word again) to lose fat be “evil?” Is it some kind of malevolent voodoo that strips fat off of you and magically transfers it onto the body of your arch enemy? Now that would be evil!
Who writes this stuff? Do consumers really fall for this hyperbolic advertising? As for me, I just find it an insult to my intelligence. Make that a shocking insult to my amazing intelligence; an intelligence which experts would be horrified to learn the evil trick I used to acquire. Not to mention how it astounded scientists to see how much younger and thinner I looked after using this weird trick. And by the way: doctors, surgeons, insurance companies and even veterinarians don’t want you to learn this miraculous trick because obviously they are all scam artists and would rather you pay them obscenely huge fees to deal with your problems (ineffectively, no less) than let you in on this carefully guarded secret.
Do you think I could get a job writing ad copy? Of course, overstated – and often misleading – advertisements aren’t new:
From a 1930s magazine advertisement --
"Why our Physicians call our new brand a 'Health Cigar'. I recommend Thomson's Mell-o-well cigars to any who are interested in regaining or keeping physical fitness...." Signed by G. Edward Roehrig, M.D., who passed away from lung cancer at the age of 73.
From the 1850s -- “Dr. Thomas’ Eclectric Oil… It will positively cure… toothache in 5 minutes… lameness in 2 days… deafness in 2 days… One bottle will go farther than half a dozen of an ordinary medicine.”
And then there are the ads at the other end of the spectrum, nicely understated. I saw an online scrolling ad for a two-piece outfit for $25. I couldn’t read fast enough, but I think the company was Fabletics, which sells women’s sportswear. The ad said something about the good fit of the clothing, then ended with, “Your butt will thank you.” Simple. Succinct. No hyperbole. And maybe even true, butt who knows?
I haven’t watched TV for quite some time, so I don’t know the current state of television commercials. For simplicity’s sake, you can’t beat the Grey Poupon commercial, which came out in the mid-1980s. Thirty-two seconds, two actors, two lines. And yet it still plays well:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwOCOm9Z0YE
"The foods the experts don’t want you to eat”
“Wrinkle Solution Horrifies Surgeons: Scientists have discovered a shocking natural skincare solution. Try this one weird trick & look years younger.”
“1 evil trick to lose fat”
Really?????
I’m sorry, but I’ve never been amazed by Epsom salts. I don’t care what the “experts” do or don’t want me to eat (I’ll research that myself and make my own informed decisions). If surgeons are “horrified” by a “weird trick” to look younger, I don’t think I want to try it. And why would a “trick” (there’s that word again) to lose fat be “evil?” Is it some kind of malevolent voodoo that strips fat off of you and magically transfers it onto the body of your arch enemy? Now that would be evil!
Who writes this stuff? Do consumers really fall for this hyperbolic advertising? As for me, I just find it an insult to my intelligence. Make that a shocking insult to my amazing intelligence; an intelligence which experts would be horrified to learn the evil trick I used to acquire. Not to mention how it astounded scientists to see how much younger and thinner I looked after using this weird trick. And by the way: doctors, surgeons, insurance companies and even veterinarians don’t want you to learn this miraculous trick because obviously they are all scam artists and would rather you pay them obscenely huge fees to deal with your problems (ineffectively, no less) than let you in on this carefully guarded secret.
Do you think I could get a job writing ad copy? Of course, overstated – and often misleading – advertisements aren’t new:
From a 1930s magazine advertisement --
"Why our Physicians call our new brand a 'Health Cigar'. I recommend Thomson's Mell-o-well cigars to any who are interested in regaining or keeping physical fitness...." Signed by G. Edward Roehrig, M.D., who passed away from lung cancer at the age of 73.
From the 1850s -- “Dr. Thomas’ Eclectric Oil… It will positively cure… toothache in 5 minutes… lameness in 2 days… deafness in 2 days… One bottle will go farther than half a dozen of an ordinary medicine.”
And then there are the ads at the other end of the spectrum, nicely understated. I saw an online scrolling ad for a two-piece outfit for $25. I couldn’t read fast enough, but I think the company was Fabletics, which sells women’s sportswear. The ad said something about the good fit of the clothing, then ended with, “Your butt will thank you.” Simple. Succinct. No hyperbole. And maybe even true, butt who knows?
I haven’t watched TV for quite some time, so I don’t know the current state of television commercials. For simplicity’s sake, you can’t beat the Grey Poupon commercial, which came out in the mid-1980s. Thirty-two seconds, two actors, two lines. And yet it still plays well:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwOCOm9Z0YE
Given the proliferation of outlandish statements in online advertisements, I can only assume that they work, and that Epsom salts and wrinkle cures are flying off the virtual shelves of their sellers. And evil people are losing fat, and experts continue to roll over in their graves because of the foods we eat.
So I guess I’ll have to put up with the horrifying, shockingly evil hyperbole. Maybe a “health cigar” and a shot of snake oil will make it more palatable. Wouldn’t that be amazing?!?
So I guess I’ll have to put up with the horrifying, shockingly evil hyperbole. Maybe a “health cigar” and a shot of snake oil will make it more palatable. Wouldn’t that be amazing?!?
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